Skiboat38,
In regard to your rant, I think a few things must be brought to light. First and foremost, there is certainly some genetic issue with that thing you call a dog. I have never seen a four legged animal of any type that has three legs on one side. So because "it" has an issue with a firkin or my mode of transportation is not my issue. It does look a bit like you and quite frankly has your personality.
This entire written spew is because you have not been given a firkin. When your official buoy count exceeds mine (even though i am 8 years your senior) I will sell you a firkin at a reduced rate to shut you up.